A Journey into Heart

Those who know do not speak, those who speak do not know - Tao Te Ching

I have felt drawn to visit the Carpathian Mountains in Hungary for some time and was waiting for an opportunity to arise. As soon as one did I went, despite having a lot of work pressing on other fronts. I have learned that following intuition in this way leads to unanticipated benefits. My aim was to recover a dormant aspect of my soul through connecting with a land that I have never visited in this lifetime, and its people. Our destination was the mountainous region of Dobogoku, known to locals as the Heart chakra of their country and perhaps of Earth as a whole. I live on the edge of Europe and looked forward very much to reconnecting with the energies at its centre.


We sleep on a mountain top overlooking a particularly gracious bend in the Danube, a river that has figured strongly in my imagination for many years. On our first day, we walk a short way into the forest, away from panoramic views over the river. We come to a hollow, rimmed on one side by a sheer rock face and on the other by a steep, lightly wooded gradient. This is a quiet place, rich in memory and ideal for making contact with the Spirit of the Land. I kneel at the centre of the Hollow and direct my prayer into the Heart of Earth. It answers in the form of strong, nurturing vibrations that stream into me from below. Then I walk the rim, channelling my soul signature out to the land and waiting for its response, which comes in a series of pulsating waves. I sit then on the edge of the Hollow, trembling as energies of this place flow into me and my Heart opens unreservedly to them.

Laslo, our guide and a shaman of these parts, comes towards me. At this moment, I have no wish to be interfered with or healed. He puts his hands on my shoulders and stands completely still. The effect is to contain more strongly a process that is already under way, not stifling it but consolidating a vessel in which it can happen quickly and easily. I pass through three cycles, breathing energies of Heaven and Earth deeply into my Heart and allowing them to mingle there before expanding voluminously out. Three times a White Rose blossoms in my Heart. At the end, Laslo bows graciously and I reciprocate, having been welcomed not just by the Land but also by one of her human guardians. He asks later through a young friend how I came to be a spiritual person and I tell him what he wants to know and feel very much at home.

That night a man named Peter comes to talk with our group. He is introduced as a ‘soul mechanic’ and invites questions. After discussing basic issues of energy healing for a while, he says that the mission of Hungarian people is to achieve ‘brotherhood’. This includes a spiritual, non-genetically determined aspect but must first be achieved within the nation. Once the template has been perfected there, it can spread easily to other peoples, each of which has its own mission to accomplish. This reinforces a tacit impression in our group that Hungary’s role will be central to a process of spiritual renewal on Earth. It strikes me that, because each people has its gift to contribute, renewal must come equally from many centres rather than just one. Also, brotherhood will have to be perfected in the course of integrating these diverse gifts, all of which are required for fulfilment of the whole.

Peter acknowledges this as a valid point but notes that Hungarian mythology is unique in featuring brothers that don’t fight each other. Also, she has a history of a two-tiered administration whereby ‘the Crown’ – an ‘upper house’ in parliamentary terms, made up of a spiritual-political elite, apparently – adjudicates local disputes so that decisions were always made with the coherence of the nation as a whole in mind. This system dates from the early history of the Huns. It has been discontinued in modern times with ruinous effect. Nevertheless, it retains a strong place in collective memory, having served to cushion the impact of growing egotism on community values by conserving and applying ancient wisdom.

I accept this but note that the development of ego has prepared our species to assume spiritual freedom, especially in our present time of Heart-opening. This implies a further transformation of human psychology that is not incompatible with community. On the contrary it is the condition of a new ‘brotherhood’ that doesn’t depend on force of arms for its maintenance. Such ‘imperial’ regimes are no longer sustainable because it’s not possible to have right relationship without allowing freedom and power to all parties concerned. For me, the highest good available in this moment is simply to express truthfully what is in my Heart: to trust this, share it and experience the joy of having it acknowledged and appreciated.

As soon as these words are translated, the atmosphere changes palpably. Instead of our being Hungarians and Irish exchanging words to break down walls, we become an integral community of Heart, an example of what we have been striving to evoke in language. Peter says that this is the kind of development he envisages and asks for the first time about aspects of our Celtic culture. He says later that he feels very happy with our ongoing exchange, now that a point has been reached where he knows intuitively what is being said even before it has been translated. Most of our group had gone to bed long before this opening was achieved. It proved to be especially noteworthy that there were no women present at this point and hadn’t been for some time. Evidently, this was something that male/masculine egos needed to resolve.

[There seems to be a strong warrior residue in the psychology of Hungarian males. This is perhaps to be expected in a currently land-locked nation. I was told repeatedly that Hungary lost 72% of her former territories in the aftermath of WWI. It seems to me that the yearning for restoration which this induces needs to be sublimated in the mode of a Heart chakra expansion rather than being literally pursued. This involves relinquishing attachment to all that was once held dear at ego level, including one’s (national) self-concept/identity. It turns out that it is only the attachment that needs to be let go here: our essence endures and flourishes after relinquishment. And yet this step remains prerequisite for the attainment of an unconditional love (and spiritual ‘brotherhood’) that we only get around to discussing on our final night.]


The next day we go walking with Judy, a female guide who leads us into the forest on the river side, through ‘dimensional gates’ established by local initiates. It has been said that these people are wary and elusive but I found them to be exactly otherwise, not least in proclaiming a ‘Taltos Iskola’ (roughly, ‘shaman school’) over the gates of their principal shrines. The vibrant Heart energy of the region supports such boldness, which is evidently well-appreciated, there being not the slightest sign of vandalism or disrespect in what is also a widely visited recreational area.

Our walk today is longer and more profound. We move deeper into the Heart of the Land and its stories, particularly in locations around Nimrod’s Rock. (Nimrod is the principal deity of the Magyars/Hungarians.) The day is wet and the mountain terrain demands some care. Despite this, I feel entirely safe and still at home. My Heart goes out to the Land as we walk and its energies pour back into me. Later, at a viewing point overlooking the majestic course of the Danube, I receive blessings of the River and Sky as well. My Heart feels fuller on our journey back.

That night Imre comes to talk with us about his work. He appears to be something of a polymath: engineer, linguist, inventor and irrepressibly more. He starts by presenting evidence for an ancient grid system used to regulate a harmonious flow process that was evidently designed to promote life and consciousness on Earth. Nevertheless, he says that human awareness degenerated over a succession of Ice Ages such that this knowledge was forgotten except by an Illuminati-type group who retain a sufficient grasp to exploit it for reasons of power and monetary gain.

Imre has a thorough knowledge of the ancient Magyar tongue and uses it to establish old Hungarian as a root language. This forms a basis for other languages that came into being after the process of linguistic differentiation that is mythically evoked by stories of Babel (which he seems to take literally). It not only underpins these other languages but also conserves a mystical affinity with the inner structure of reality and its constituent processes. Imre demonstrates this via a rapid stream of examples, suggesting that key terms in modern languages may be shown to derive from a single source and to retain traces of meaning that were once coherently integrated within it.

This coherence has been degraded by the forgetfulness of many and the corruption of a relative few. Imre’s mission is to restore it by combining linguistic-spiritual insights with the technical knowledge required to bring Earth’s natural eco-systems back into right relationship. His case is made to seem compelling by the extraordinary force with which it is presented: an energy that is utterly focused and dedicated to its goal. It is also completely pure, as if it has never been remotely deflected by challenges met along the way. Imre is like a perfect yang Fool in this respect, totally unself-conscious as he knits linguistic traces together to evoke the lost blueprint of a once integral but now fractured and forgetful human world.

When questioned about general issues, he responds by rolling out new banks of detail. For instance, when I ask how our consciousness became contracted within the overall system to a point where it needed to control, he fills a new sheet of paper with new diagrams to show that Earth has always maintained a temperature necessary to permit the flourishing of life, implying that consciousness within the overall system hasn’t been degraded at all. How then did the consciousness of certain humans come to focus on exploitation and control? This came out of the Judaeo-Christian line. Why? Because the Jews sought to pass off ancient Hungarian knowledge as their own and keep it for themselves instead of sharing it. Already as this is being translated, Imre is dashing off new diagrams to show how all the parts of his vision really can be put together and that they really do join up to make an integrated whole.

I doubt that his answer does justice to ancient Hebrew prophecy, nor does it account for the control function that institutionalised Christianity later took upon itself. I find his linguistic examples compelling but it’s impossible to evaluate them properly under the circumstances in which they are presented. Hence I try another ploy. Citing Dr Emoto’s work with water as an example of how it is possible to reverse environmental degradation by spiritual means, I ask Imre if he can foresee a situation in which such awareness might work alongside the more technical interventions he has proposed.

His response is amazingly dismissive: it is arrogant to think that we can improve a system that has been functioning perfectly for millions of years. But we are aspects of that system and not functioning perfectly; also there is no contradiction between admitting Earth’s ability to self-regulate and her service role in providing a stage for our human experiment in freedom. Judy, our guide from this afternoon, nods approval. Despite being fascinated by Imre’s mastery of old Hungarian writing, she is also exasperated by his exclusively yang style of dealing with issues and his seeming disregard of spiritual creativity as a means to achieve transformation consciously.

She makes an impassioned speech, the gist of which is that Unity is always already given and assured. To imagine otherwise is to be lost in illusion. Imre is unimpressed. I become conscious of making certain ‘magical’ gestures through the course of their exchange, which happens directly before me. I do so intuitively and spontaneously, without deliberation or agenda. While doing it, I realise that I am mediating between pure yin and yang styles that they respectively espouse and which are now at variance. I am balancing them energetically and can feel the benefits of this as it happens in my consciousness.

I remember that both Peter last night and Judy earlier this afternoon had stressed that in Hungarian tradition the Trinity is made up of a Divine Father and a Divine Mother with Jesus as the (Divine) Child. This symbolism is identical to the format I have been using in recent years. I am now balancing the Divine Father (pure yang/masculine) energies of Imre with the Divine Feminine (pure yin/feminine) energies of Judy and in so doing striving to balance a tension that currently exists between them. This balance naturally releases a third force, a Divine (Christ) Child energy that drives consciously creative evolution. It is part of my mission to embody this.

One of our women asserts that Imre is operating only from his head. Immediately, even before translation, yin-yang streams that had earlier remained convergent under duress, rear up like waves in mutual recoil. Without thinking, I draw my hand blade-like down the centre of my body, cutting the tension and pulling both streams back into a renewed flow of Divine Child consciousness. I sense this in my Heart as it happens. A wave passes from my open palm to counter the ‘head only’ challenge, again without conscious intent. Laslo asks through our translator what I think of what Judy had just said but before I can reply Imre starts filling more sheets with more details, commanding the translation so that Laslo’s query gets lost in the surge.

This would have been my answer: there are two different modes of knowing in play now and they only appear to be antagonistic, due to circumstance. The two modes are properly complementary but need to be held in right relationship in order for this to be apparent. Feminine knowing intuits Unity directly, such that everything that seems to distort the clarity of its knowing really does feel like ‘illusion’. Masculine knowing is abstract, dynamic and competitive. It seeks to reconstruct in language a Unity that is shattered as soon as language is applied in a yang-dominant manner (1).

In the event of their sundering, as modelled now before our eyes, Judy’s vision looks to Imre like a complacent fantasy that cedes power to those who would manipulate and control. Imre’s view appears to Judy as an illusion that stems from a failure to experience wholeness at the Feeling level of clarified Heart. This confers an unmediated sense of Unity and Belonging, of being at Home in the Body of God/dess and All That Is. Each of these visions needs the other. A pure yang, masculine mode tends to gallop off in a headstrong, runaway fashion unless it is rooted in the pure yin, feminine mode of direct knowing and felt participation. This latter mode, however, left to itself, is liable to remain static or implode rather than develop – which is why a balanced relationship between the two is needed to sustain evolving Unity.

Here is our critical consideration: Unity evolves and it is now the responsibility of a Divine Child awakening through us to ensure that its evolution happens consciously in time (2). This would have been my response to Laslo’s question but there is no chance of communicating it in the staccato flux of present exchanges. Judy is getting ready to go. This leaves Imre’s pure yang energy unbalanced and makes it harder for me to sustain a balance I had been managing easily before. His torrent of ‘facts’ keeps on coming after her departure. It takes all my power to continue reconciling them in Heart. The group energy becomes increasingly jagged and chaotic, inspiring Imre to ever more specific details. People leave or fall out of their power. Dialogue ceases. Visions are offered for comment and questions for external answering. Inner Heart-knowing is forgotten. I remain silent, intent on holding balance.

No breakthrough is made to a level of Heart communion achieved the previous night. Our only sense of ending comes with a running down of time. Imre, not the hugging type, offers pre-emptive handshakes all around. My friends report a sense of being bowled over by his vigorous, no mystical bullshit approach. I agree that he is one of the most amazing people I have ever met and one that I would like to meet again; a Holy Fool, unswervingly aligned with the genius of his soul and serving all by virtue of its extremity.


The next day we go for a beautifully long hike, the physical demands of which draw us fully into very fine energies of the Land. We walk first to the Heart of its Heart, down into a valley before climbing to the top of a hill where a singular rock marks the spiritual centre of our adoptive Holy Land. We then descend further until we come to the bottom of a steep gorge, from which point we begin ascending through it. This exercise, undertaken as a sacramental walk, calls the Spirit of the Mountain down upon us. If I had felt at home in this landscape before my ascent, we are on positively intimate terms after it. My body has been remoulded by the terrain and my soul also. This is what it means to remember. I am not other than I was before, but more. The integration of Imre’s extremity is now wholly in place and awaits further resolution in a final meeting with other native initiates later that night.


After dinner we are introduced to four more representatives of Hungarian spiritual culture: three men in traditional costume and a beautiful young woman. Their leader, Andrew, begins by speaking of information they had been given by light beings from Sirius concerning the role played by star ancestors in the evolution of our species. He speaks also of a technique they have found for coming into Heart consciousness and of a discovery they had recently made concerning the relationship between Creativity and Love. We talk mostly about star ancestors at this early stage of using words to break down walls. Then a member of our group asks for help with coming into his Heart. A practical demonstration is suggested and duly given. Then we all try the new technique together.

I have a long-time practice which serves the same purpose. Nevertheless, I follow directions given and find that they work very powerfully for me. Amplified by the energies of the group, including especially our guests, I feel my aura expanding vastly as energies from above and below (Divine Father and Divine Mother) stream in and fuse in my Heart. Then, when I turn my palms outwards, a cone of energy projects from my hands and Heart, culminating at a point before me in the virtual future of our Time of No Time. This point is also far away from me in virtual space, making it hard to see clearly an image that appears there. I withdraw the energy of my projection twice to check for authenticity. The image persists, so I study it more closely.

It features a Templar shield with a red cross emblazoned on a white ground. At the centre of the cross a hand is holding a flower – lotus, tulip, rose etc. according to various traditions. Intuitively I grasp the significance of this projection and of the image it conveys. Both are clearly associated with the energy of our guests. Andrew comments that when we have mastery of the technique we will be ‘permanently in love with everything’ and have no need to look to others to know what we should do.

When we sit again I ask to hear more about the link our friends have found between Creativity and Love. Andrew tells how in recent times Mother Mary began appearing to him, with increasing intensity up to a point where he felt drawn to her as to a Lover. At first this felt strange but Mother Mary assured him that everything was in order and so she became his Beloved. He eventually realised that she was the One he had been reaching for through all of his earlier relationships with actual women. Meeting Mother Mary in this way also changed his relationship with every other woman he had known. Did this answer my question?

On the surface, it did nothing of the sort but I know I have been offered a platform that would allow me to understand the nature of Andrew’s experience if I were capable of it. I reply that I have had many experiences similar to his and therefore know exactly what he is talking about. He looks encouraged. I go on to say that I have also had lots of experience receiving energies that elevate and transform, much like his encounters with Mother Mary. However, my sense is that these energies are now preparing to turn outwards again for expression into our world, creating Beauty and unanticipated delights. As on the first night with Peter, the energy of our gathering changes when these words are received. Andrew, smiling, says that then I will have arrived. We will have arrived. With these words we become a unified community of Heart. This leads to a bout of hugs that acknowledge the joys of shared passion and mutual recognition.

Later, when we speak alone, I thank Andrew. He replies that he should be thanking me because now he knows that he is not alone. Unlike the previous night, when Imre’s extreme yang energy swept all before it, we end in an integral Heart space that everyone can participate in easily. This was made possible because Andrew’s Mother Mary story made clear that he is a man who has come into right relationship with the Goddess and learned to see Her in all women by virtue of an inner sacred marrying that he has accomplished in himself. And because the Divine Child of consciously creative evolution is born spontaneously of this, the story also provides an explanation for his newly discovered relationship between Creativity and Love.

I too have experienced an inner marrying of Divine Masculine and Feminine streams and know that the next stage is always emergence of a Divine Child consciousness that engages naturally in spontaneous enactments of its essential creativity. This is not a once and for all accomplishment but something that must happen over and over. It is the core generative process of all Becoming. A Divine Child remembers her/his origin in Spirit and acts then from the Heart of Heart, forward in time towards the attainment of a Destiny rather than simply ‘back’ to Source. There is now an unprecedented potential for spiritual creativity available in this respect, especially since the Mayan calendar ‘turning point’ of 28/10/11. This still supports releases of human creativity after its fusion of 9 primary Creation waves carried Source consciousness forward from the Beginning of time to engender a capacity for augmented Presence at the centre of our awakening Heart(s).

This is also what was indicated by my vision during our Heart exercise: the projected goal of my Quest now lies before me as a Destiny to be attained rather than a Source to get back to. At the same time, in terms of Grail imagery, we are poised to move beyond serving exclusively as receptive vessels to also become wellsprings (Sources of Creativity) in the process of conscious evolution. The flower of my image signifies a blossoming of Heart at the centre of the Passion/Cross of Earth, being fore-grounded rather than concealed by that which has served to defend it in the past. The Templar shield also establishes a link with Guardians of the Grail. Our visitors are known as ‘The Knights of Sancta Maria’ – i.e., the Goddess by another name – which further consolidates our theme of yang masculine warrior energies returning in service to the Sacred Feminine. This felt convergence makes Judy ‘very happy’ and brings healing to a dissonance that had been left unresolved with Imre the night before.


The next morning I go for a gentle walk with K. We sit overlooking the Danube, co-ordinating gifts received. That afternoon, en route to the airport, we stop in the centre of Budapest on the banks of a Great Mother River. I kneel briefly before this primary manifestation of Goddess, whose bounty has supported life and civilisation in Europe for 46,000 years minimum, according to our hosts. Even more than rock, Laslo had recalled on our first day, water remembers. I connect with the Spirit of the River and living history stirs in my veins, flowing free. Know the male but keep to the role of the female! Then I am reminded that Ryanair waits for no man. Budapest is no less beautiful for rude awakening.


(1) If we see language as an emergent phenomenon, it becomes integral as birdsong and expresses a growing affinity between consciousness and world. This creates a problem for Imre’s method because languages as emergent give rise to new insights and symbols that reductions back to a single root can’t deal with. Although this doesn’t necessarily make a root language hypothesis incorrect, it does  mean that creative developments happen through the conscious use of language that Imre’s approach simply can’t get, implying that he underestimates the role of conscious spiritual creativity in evolution. It is tempting nonetheless to see human language groups as deriving from a (set of?) Star language(s) that later differentiate, reflecting diverse patterns of Earth ecology as well as bearing traces of common origin(s).  I look forward to studying a translation of Imre’s book in this respect.

(2) This implies a different quality of human participation in evolution than has been the norm up to our time, and different than the forms that Imre’s work reflects. The substance of this difference is that as Divine Consciousness awakens in time through us, we must assume responsibility for all that we create – including the directions of continuing evolution. This would also bring the fulfilment of our capacity for freedom, which is perhaps the cardinal mystery of the evolutionary process.

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