One

 

My next dreams came in a flurry, one directly after the other, the following night. In all of them, Merlin is represented by G, the man who facilitated the workshop I attended back in our first dream chapter ‘The Game of Life’. I have almost come full circle. For expediency, the dream segments are presented one at a time.

C and I are in circle with others in a cave or dark space like a sweat lodge. G is there also. Jack Charlton opens a small door and hands me a bottle of water. I understand that he is very kind to children.

 

We, the fe/male aspects of my soul, sit together in a circle of seekers a long time ago and always. We are in a dark space that may be a cave or sweat lodge. This space is sacred, ancient and timeless. It represents the womb of the Goddess, to which we come over and over to die and be reborn. G supplies the face of Merlin in this dream. He also represents an ideal of male spirituality awake in service to Creation. This presupposes a marriage of God and Goddess potentials within.

Jack Charlton represents another kind of potential. A former soccer player and man-ager, he is big, gruff, plain-spoken, authoritative and inspirational. He is also the Guardian-Protector of our circle, a warrior who looks after developing souls (children) during vulnerable periods in their growth. I must be as both of these figures, spiritually and practically effective, helping to maintain a lineage of high awareness over time.

My awareness then shifts into the following scenario:

G is walking down a mountain road towards us. He is joined by a man wearing an orange shirt. C says joyfully ‘There’s Paul!’

 

Merlin descends from a mountain to meet us. This means that he carries teachings from a higher level of consciousness. C recognises the man in an orange shirt and hails him welcomingly as Paul, her former husband. My feminine soul, conditioned by the experiences of many lifetimes, is ready now and needs to heal all wounds and issues to do with sexuality (orange shirt: sacral chakra). It is time now for a decisive reconciliation of all sundered parts. Masculine aspects of my soul which may have played the part of offender in the past – the brothers in ‘Campfire’, for example – are also waiting to come home, overseen by Merlin.

As quickly again, the scene shifts to a hotel venue where a course has just finished and the group dispersed:

 

We’re in a room now with G. A class has just finished. He looks at a broken cup and asks us where its handle is. We don’t know. Then he looks at a dingy, battered pillow. He takes it through a glass door for clearing. I see him working in the Garden and realise ‘I can do that!’

 

We’re alone in a room that might have been a cave with Merlin. He asks about the broken cup and where its handle is. We say that we don’t know. Enacting, I realise that we are both the ‘cup’ and the answer to his question. ‘Cup’ in Merlin’s usage refers to the Grail, a whole (holy) cup which symbolises the creative integrity of the Divine Feminine. This cannot be realised except in a context of sacred marriage, inner and outer. There is no other way its potential can be ‘handled’ or fulfilled.

Then Merlin turns his attention to a dirty, battered pillow: the inanimate scapegoat of therapeutic culture. This absorbs the negative energies of angry, frustrated, resentful, wounded people. It carries a lot. We have forgotten how to turn such energies into Gold. Merlin hasn’t.

He takes the pillow out into the Garden (as metaphor for the realisation of divine order on Earth) and works magically – channels spiritual energies – to clarify and transmute all that the pillow represents. This clarifies the Garden also, making it more beautiful and whole.

I watch Merlin perform his Holy Office and think ‘I can do that’. I too can serve as a spiritual warrior-protector of Earth. Merlin reflects a potential for me that I need at this time to embrace.

G comes back in and starts talking about music. He tells us how some woman who was a scholar turned to producing music herself. He has an old vinyl record from which he’s able to produce sounds using a walkman. I hear ancient music playing. G explains that it’s ‘the Weavers’.

 

Merlin returns from clarifying the Garden to tell us about music and how a woman who used to be a scholar switched to making music herself. I know intuitively on hearing these words that she ‘remembered’. Her studies evoked in her a living memory of that towards which she had always been drawn in love. Merlin is not relaying this to pass the time. The scholar’s gender tells me that I must open my feminine powers of intuition to follow her example. I too can bring music alive in my soul.

Merlin then produces an old ‘record’. This is both a large vinyl disc, quaintly packaged in 50’s-style sleeve, and an encrypted version of some knowing he wishes to transmit. He takes a ‘walkman’ CD player and somehow connects it to the record, still in its sleeve. Energy from the ‘walkman’ animates the record and I hear the sounds of an ancient, timeless music emanating from the Web of Creation all around me.

Merlin explains that the creators of this music are the Weavers. Entering its spirit as its spirit enters me, I know at once the vibration of those ageless beings who weave existence from a pool of pure potential, embellishing it with new forms over and over. I listen closely so that the living memory of my own weave might be evoked, the better to spin it out of myself.

It strikes me that C and I are always together in this sequence. The role of Sacred Marriage in my soul’s emerging Unity was much less apparent when this dreaming of its journey began. It became even clearer in my final dream, which arrived the next day:

A woman is sleeping. I touch her carefully, with reverence. She continues sleeping but is very much alive.

 

It is early morning as I doze. C is sleeping. I touch her carefully, with reverence. It is her birthday, a very special one. Today her spirit will be reborn. As without, so within: my living has finally caught up with my dreams. My female reflection lives the dream of my feminine soul and when she wakes the two, Life and Dream, will be One.

                                                          *

I knew as soon as I acknowledged this dream that it would be my last. The energy wave by which I had been sustained for over two months was at an end. Dreams would continue, of course, as an author’s interest lives on after a book, but the end of a cycle had been reached. Reflecting, I perceive that my Inner Teacher has come forth and that my bride who had been sleeping will soon awake. The dream must live now. My soul will be dreamt alive.

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