Incredibly, it seemed, after such a sustained period of dream activity, I didn’t recall any dreams for the next week. This proved to be an intense period of writing, enacting and integrating anything that still stood in the way of my efforts to achieve Unity in my soul. It was clear that nothing further would happen until it was time for my mooted rendezvous with C. Then, finally, the following dream came through:


C and I are taking a group of children (3-4 years old) to the Botanical Gardens. We’re teaching them all kinds of things along the way.  There’s a great sense of fun and adventure about this.


C and I are re-united. Male and female are back together after a period of necessary insulation during which, for example, the full gravity of the priestess’ violation was admitted back into my waking consciousness and its impact considerably eased by the return (via enactment) of Cassie and her companions. This renewed association has brought with it new potentials, represented by the children – boys and girls who are at an age when the spontaneity of our ‘inner child’ tends to get lost.

We have been charged with taking these children to Dublin’s Botanical Gardens. This evokes the mythological symbol of the Garden (Eden), a metaphor for heavenly harmony on Earth. We must educate our young in the ways of the Universe City, in which the order of human existence accords perfectly with that of the Cosmos. There is great energy and excitement around the prospect of rejuvenating our local human culture in this way. All of this is waiting to happen now in my soul.

More substantial tidings came the following night in the form of three dreams, each of which arrived as stages of one wave. We will consider them separately to begin:

I am sitting in my lakeshore house looking out. There is a wire fence between me and the waterline, surrounded by a long bed of reeds. I see through these to the lake, where a man is intentionally sinking his car. I think that he must surely drown, given the impact of water pressure, but when the car is half-immersed he opens the passenger door and gets out on the left side. He looks as if he never had any doubts about this.


I am in a house beside water, looking out. This means that I am contemplating my spiritual life, which is certainly true of these times: all that is beautifully reflected on the surface and all that remains unfathomed in its depths. There is a borderland, marked by the wire fence and reed bed. I see past these to a scene in which a man deliberately sinks his car with himself inside. The response of my dream ego, rational rather than paranoid, is that this man will surely be irretrievably immersed and drown.

Translating the dream’s central metaphor, I must now – this very day – surrender myself into the soul waters of the deep Unconscious so that my spirit can be reborn into the next phase of its evolution. For this rebirth to occur, I must enter in consciousness the watery womb of the Mother/Goddess. The dream figure does better than escape. He is released on the left to a new level of intuitive awareness. This is what my soul now asks of me.

Typically, ego-consciousness fears annihilation in such circumstances. It would be more accurate to say, as we have seen repeatedly, that the influence of un-integrated elements in our souls, stuck in survival mode, spills over into consciousness in such moments,  causing us to feel afraid. The way to overcome this is for consciousness to be prepared to receive the representations of such parts, contain their panic, and hold them until they are ready to move back into flow.

I have had a lot of experience at doing this, especially in recent times. Thus my soul can now ask me as John-consciousness to yield my ‘self’ (the psychological vehicle for my personal existence) back into the body of the Mother as water. I am asked to relinquish all control and become again like a foetus prior to birth, trusting that she will deliver me safely into whatever my new form is to be.

Symbolically, this dream asks that I as dissociated phallus must set aside my historically conditioned posture of vigilance and control. I must suffer myself to become weak, helpless and small – as we all have been in the arms of the Mother. For males charged to individuate and go to the edge, it can be difficult to return to Centre in such a radical, trust-demanding way.

Nevertheless, this is what my dream says I must do in fulfilment of my mission to return again to Source, the place from which all journeys begin and where healing for my dissociated phallus can be found. Forewarned, I make a meditation while enacting the immersion phase of my dream.

I go to the beach, kneel before the ocean and centre myself, gathering all of my scattered parts into a unity of focus and intent. Then I enter a state in which I consciously surrender all that I am into the arms of the Goddess, becoming again as an infant in her watery embrace.

Persisting, I am drawn back to the moment of my conception in this lifetime and then back of that again to the moment of my soul’s conception, the moment when the seed of this ‘I’ first arose from the matrix of pure potential that is the Void and formless form of pure Consciousness.

I allow myself to slump on to the sand in a gesture of utter surrender and remain, foetus-like, until the process is accomplished. Around me strong waves issue crashing reminders that ‘I’ am surrounded by the body of my Mother. Thus re-minded, I am released to a new phase.

I come out of the meditation remembering Consciousness, what that was before ‘I’ became conscious of myself as separate. I feel cleansed in my senses and my soul, made new. I see all around me with new eyes my Mother’s body, the parameters of familiarity having been washed clean during my ego’s sleep.

This is ‘Death by Water’, a feminine complement to entering the Fire of Truth. Note that, by contrast with our early Fire scenario, my Goddess/Water dream told me that I was ready for this transformation, and so it proved.

I have carried the phallus as symbolic of dissociated male sexuality and ego-consciousness back to Source, bringing it again into right relationship with the Goddess and potentially, all women, her daughters. This is a representative journey. All men have the potential to undertake it and women also, in so far as they too might need re-orientation following millennia of adjusting to distorted and disempowering norms.

My next dream has a very different atmosphere:

Then I see the interior of a spaceship, a vast flying saucer affair, judging by its shape and dimensions. A man and woman sit on separate throne-like chairs at centre, focused and prepared. On either side of them, in front, are two groups of children, boys and girls, also composed and sitting neatly in rows. The craft takes off without any friction.


The spaceship is as described, without complicated dials or instruments. I see it from the front, directly through to its interior. In fact, it doesn’t seem to have an ‘outside’. Also, my awareness is inseparable from all that I behold. My consciousness is equally in the man, woman, children and seemingly material forms I imagine them to be sitting on. The man and woman look perfectly balanced, in themselves and in relation to each other. The developing potentials represented by the children are also perfectly arrayed. Everything is in right order.

In a flash, I ‘get’ it! There is no-thing to be enacted here; nothing to integrate or reconcile. This dream-vision presents a clear inner picture of my mer-ka-ba, the purest manifestation of my Light Body and template for my spirit’s existence in form. The interior is beautifully articulated as a mythic family tableau which, I intuit, reflects my soul’s internal order, as informed by all my current work of sacred marrying.

This dream pictures the essential being, the soul-form that ‘I’ – as a distinguishable part of supreme, all-encompassing I AM Consciousness – most truly am. It presents an ideal which is now achievable in my life. I am challenged to hold this level of poise and awareness at all times.

No fuel, dials, instruments or computers are required to power this ‘ship’ (which is a metaphor in any case). It operates on pure loving intent, just as Merlin did in his demonstration with the robots. I have lost my car and been given quite another vehicle in its place. I can and must maintain this level of awareness.

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