The Goddess Rising: Sexual Healing and the Return of the Female Christ

Our circle gathers in an atmosphere of humility and service. Many of us have faced deep fears to be here. These had been dormant but were awakened by the choice to join an event which threatens sleeping parts with arousal from a passive, withdrawn state into one of uncertainty and change. Conditions of passive stress – usually experienced negatively, as an absence of vibrant life – begin to register actively. Parts so disturbed then infect consciousness with a sense of terror they feel at the prospect of being forced out of hiding.

A first temptation of consciousness when this happens is to feel overwhelmed and panic. Panicked, we run from occasions which stir unconscious fears. Many of our group had contacted me with versions of this story and, having identified the pattern behind it, resolved to hold the panic rather than be overwhelmed by it. Such anticipation bodes well for an event. It suggests that there is real transformative potential involved and offers a chance to transcend rather than suppress our fears. It also liberates a sense of purpose and adventure for which others prepared by more obviously creative means.

This is the spirit in which our group assembles. Having done what was required to get here, we take time to arrive. Our room is dark. Light from a single source illuminates the space. We form a standing circle in the centre, holding hands as we listen to the song of a Divine Child. He sings of encountering the Goddess for the first time, rapt in the spell of his Mother’s love. Her eyes for now are ‘underneath the ground’. Our play is directed towards lifting her to new awareness, in ourselves and beyond.

Introducing Sacred Movement:

Our circle gathered, we dance a Native American rhythm sun-wise to animate it. Inspiration for this comes from a difference between modern dance and the traditional dances of indigenous people. Modern dancers, especially when they strive to excel, tend towards gravity-defying effects of mastery. Tribal dance, by contrast, moves into Earth. Ours unfolds in a series of jump-fall repetitions, where energy and conscious intent goes into the jump. We then let ourselves fall freely, trusting, into Earth.

Each time we do this we feel ourselves held and received by the Mother, beyond any need of our controlling. This routine, practiced over time, has a potential to transform our entire psychology as modern people. For example, Carl Jung notes that elongation of the lower arm of the Cross in orthodox Christian tradition expresses an unconscious shift away from Earth-centred spirituality. This associates with a denial of instinctual life and a breaking of humanity’s integral first-chakra connectedness to Earth.

As a result, we moderns feel disconnected, rootless and un-held. We must be in control to feel safe, which also makes us aloof and apart. Our opening dance is a first gesture to reverse this state of affairs, by moving in concert with Earth rather than in defiance of her. After it, we walk freely: forwards, backwards, diagonally left and right, in arcs and circling patterns. We do so alone and then in pairs, with one person leading while another follows, eyes closed in trust. When this is done, we improvise a drunken solo walk where we stagger exaggeratedly from foot to foot, all the while falling into Earth.

We continue the spirit of this movement into music, expressing our growing sense of trust through another ‘Earth’ dance. Our next step is to drop a grounding cord that runs from our Heart chakras through our Base into the Heart of Earth. We extend this cord up to the Heart of Heaven and then move conscious of being connected above and below, suspended along a vertical axis that runs through our centre line, aligning us with the Hearts of Heaven and of Earth.

Having established this axis, we practise a mode of ‘sacral walking’ in relation to it. ‘Sacral’ implies ‘sacred’ and ‘having to do with the second chakra’. Our unexpressed sexual energy is stored in this area. The aim of ‘sacral walking’ is to get it moving. Focused in our bellies, we move intently through the room, rotating hips exaggeratedly around our central axis, like models on a catwalk. Such exaggerated motion in our pelvic areas frees up the trapped energy.

Practising this long-term creates an effect of permanent availability; practising short-term makes the energy temporarily available. For now, we need only bring it to awareness. Having done so, we dance to integrate effects of this process with those of our opening exercises. The grounding cord and falling dances have already activated our first chakras. Sacral walking awakens the second. We now combine both streams via an infectious African rhythm that gradually induces a freeing of the upper body also.

For this to happen, we must offer ourselves fully, surrendering as in meditation to repetitive cycling. In doing so we are transported. Nothing of consciousness is left behind to worry, judge or compare. We remember the joy of acting (dancing) with integrity (wholeness) as we loosen further into spontaneity and trust. If we remain aloof and judgmental, we get bored and will, most likely, blame the context for failing to take us out of ourselves. Our aim is to come into our bodies. Happily, we succeed.

We dance next to an evocative flamenco piece that draws energy up through the solar plexus. It also elicits sweeping arm movements, which prepares an opening of the Heart. We add delicate finger exercises to open the spine. After this, we go into ‘Heartfulness’, which corresponds to the third phase of our introduction. ‘Geometries of Heaven’ draws on an esoteric tradition which holds that the sixth dimensional aspect of our multi-dimensional selves manifests as an ideal (geometric) form which would express perfectly on Earth were it not for the deforming impact of our emotional histories.

Our bodies are still instruments of our souls’ perfection, however. Practices like yoga and t’ai chi help us to remember ideal form. The next stage of our process builds from this. Aided by Mozart, we move through a series of gentle stretches, postures that arise spontaneously from our own body knowing, drawing us back towards memory of ideal form. Unhurried, we flow from posture to posture, spontaneously finding one position after another that feels satisfying to enter, extend, hold and release. We repeat up-down, right-left, front-back sequences to become used again to symmetry and balance. By the end, we are opened beyond whatever our previous resting state had been.

We then move into a new phase, using strong masculine movements to project a sphere of pure yang energy around us, its radius corresponding to our fully extended limbs. The nature of yang energy is to expand, support and protect. Carried still by Mozart, we each build a Leonardo sphere around ourselves and move inside it, feeling the full strength of our yang potentials activating as we do. We consolidate and seal this sphere, ensuring that it is fully intact. All our energy goes into to this intense projective sequence.

When it is over, we stand breathless at the centre of our spheres, played out but secure in the awareness of vibrant energy fields we have created. Abruptly, we let these be. A new, tender music is heard. Attending to it, Consciousness fills with a deep longing that rises from the Heart. We are moved to hold ourselves in the stillness of pure yin, whose nature is to cherish, nurture and sustain; to draw in and hold close. We dance almost without moving to express an achingly poignant sense that we all feel.

Then we restore awareness of our yang sphere and combine it with the intensity of yin centeredness, allowing these energies of being perfectly protected and perfectly held to be known simultaneously. A third, questing energy arises – again with help from Mozart – sourced through the centre of our Hearts. This is the energy of the Divine Child. Called to awareness by a perfect synthesis of ideal forms of pure yin and pure yang energies, it expresses in a mode of pure spontaneous unfolding.

The Divine Child is not the psychologist’s ‘inner child’. To underscore this, I recall the story of a young man who approached me some years back for help in reviving a Celtic martial arts tradition. He was a kick-boxing champion, eighteen stones and 6’2” of pure muscle. Intuiting true warrior potential, I brought him to the Hill of Tara, a sacred site overlooking the plain where a Gaelic military elite used to train in ancient Ireland. I asked him to sit down and close his eyes. He couldn’t.

It was too threatening for him to imagine what surprises the world might be preparing while he was seated, off guard and not looking. We did some exercises to probe this response. Eventually we arrived at his first days in school, when he was four years old and some bigger kids handcuffed him to a radiator, taunted and abandoned him. His personality, physique and warrior ways had grown from the shame of that moment and everything that lay behind it in his life.

We all have histories of such radiator moments, times when parts of us got stuck along the way. These parts always stay the same age until we manage to retrieve them. Probing further, we found that my young man had long since abandoned hope that his father could protect him against such moments. That door was already closed. He was also still crying inside for his mother, and she was still failing to show up. This affected his relationships with women and the feminine principle.

Un-held and unprotected, he longs to be held and feel safe but even now a deep, formerly unconscious part of him is unwilling to trust that possibility. He has to keep his guard up at all times. This is a psychology that begins to be transformed as we practise falling into Earth and moving with closed eyes. It was too late for this young man’s actual parents to make good deficits that were engendered during a critical phase many years before.

Nevertheless, we all retain an option of bringing forth from within ourselves archetypal powers to heal and restore to presence aspects of ourselves that were arrested or derailed in the course of early formation. Our sacred geometry sequence empowers this. In mythological terms, pure yang is the energy of Divine Father, a power we summon to remember what it is to feel totally protected. Pure yin is the energy of Divine Mother, whose power of perfect holding heals all that comes into her embrace.

Establishing clear yang boundaries makes it possible to feel pure yin holding energy in our Hearts. Then parts of us that long to be held start stirring, as if magnetised to reach this place where their deepest yearning can be satisfied. If a sense of outer protection is also discerned, they begin to stream out from hiding places in the subconscious towards a prospect of coming Home and up to date.

Consistently observed, this process brings healing to all aspects of our wounded Inner Child, which is a function of our ego-history. The Divine Child, by contrast, is a vehicle of our pure spiritual essence and may be experienced as such at any (chronological) age. Consciousness of this Child surfaces magically in our play when – with awakened yin-yang powers in perfect balance – Mozart charms a third ‘Child’ energy into time.

In the beauty of this moment, even the most wounded of us step out in flowing harmony, accessing a potential of Divine Consciousness that we can scarcely begin to remember at other times. And yet it is there always. Our ideal form evokes a holding quality of ‘I AM’ consciousness. This may be understood by analogy with parts of Divine Consciousness that are not engaged in the process of Existence but remain outside it, still and seemingly aloof in compassionate witness.

Awareness of ideal form in time empowers us to access I AM consciousness. Every Divine Child is born with this but it quickly becomes overlaid by the emotional traces of radiator moments, from which the history of our inner child(ren) unfolds. It follows that every Divine Child needs to remember her/himself as such in time. When we do this, we become spiritual adults. We know who we are and what we are for. A central purpose of our play is to promote such remembering.

*

Having come through the Mozart sequence, we move to another emotionally charged piece, admitting its beauty and poignancy but not engaging it. We dance consciously – with strong feet, straight spines and open eyes – accepting and releasing all that is evoked in us without attachment or identification. An absence of attachment distinguishes ego (Inner Child) from I AM (Divine Child) consciousness.

Practising this distinction in a stress-free manner now prepares us to adapt it later when we will need to hold both surfacing emotions and inflowing inspiration. We extend this practice through our next session ‘Of Spirit and Emotional Wounding’, which shows how the spark of Spirit gets buried under layers of emotional history in us all. We begin by dancing to John Lennon’s ‘Mother’. This is hard because the piece is so honest and direct that its admission of raw vulnerability defies accommodation.

We are obliged to take it as it is, hearing a resolute adult say ‘goodbye’ even as a hurting child tenaciously clings: ‘Mother come home/Father don’t go’. Our Hearts, being One, open with the pathos of this plea but we remember not to identify or attach. At the end, we find a posture that expresses emotional-energetic tendencies that the song induces in us. We assume this posture, exaggerate and hold it. We then rise out of our postures, which are typically constricting.

As we do, we project the yang sphere around us, remembering the sense of expansion and protection it affords. We also remember the tenderness of our yearning Hearts at centre. Then from the highest point of this sphere, we imagine a circular portal opening before us and, carried by resurgent energies of the Divine Child streaming in our Hearts, we step through. We repeat this several times with different songs to establish the process as well as sensitivity to a range of possible deformations.

We end with Prince’s ‘Purple Rain’, which engages the Flame of Spirit but fails to raise it. ‘Closed transcendence’ refers to humanity’s many efforts to break out while remaining trapped by an ego-framework of experience that is unable to dissolve itself.  Despite this, the longing associated with our aspiration is made clear and will be revisited later.

Healing Fe/Male Wounds

‘Goddess in Chains’ initiates this process from a perspective of female healing. Rather than approach the issue in a confrontational mode, my inspiration was to proceed subtly, trusting in the grace of our occasion. This now presupposes that a space of pure holding has been established in our Hearts, calling forth for integration all that is evoked in us through resonance by music. The present sequence proved to be subtle indeed.

We follow the story of a young warrior woman, a powerful singer who has recently been signed by the record industry. She writes a set of hard-hitting, thought-provoking songs. The studio bosses lap them up, confident that they will sell into a feminist/girl-power market niche. The artist’s frustration is apparent through ‘Ladies in Waiting’, which parodies a regimented catwalk beat that showcases female eros for purposes of spectacle and consumption.

A seething frustration, threatening angry aggression, is evident in her performance and our dancing of this song. That night, at home, she writes a more direct and hauntingly urgent evocation of a savage power she feels inside but has been unable to share in truth. The next day brings another cynical, embittered studio performance which is also lapped up as saleable. That night she sings a more real for friends, featuring a stark disclosure of her actual experiences with gender/power relations.

Our session ends with a final song in which she chooses to turn her back on the whole deal: studio, celebrity and sexual entanglement. She will be alone rather than live in compromised relationship. This for her is a moment of authenticity and inspiration but it tends (or seems to tend) away from experiences of sacred marriage. Now, however, it is where this woman needs to be. We join her in it, acknowledging that only by finding the freedom to say ‘No’ can we discover our freedom to say ‘Yes’.

We let the music evoke by resonance whatever associations it needs to stir in us, knowing that our Hearts are open to receive. This applies to men also, who dance the singer’s role alongside women. Shifting postures allow us to move through and beyond emotions raised without attachment. At the end of each song, we express difficult traces in specific body shapes, hold them to a point of full admission and then let them go, remembering our sphere, our capacity for tenderness inside it and our freedom always to step through.

This works well to a point where we acknowledge the power of refusal exercised by our choice to walk away. Only having affirmed this as a necessary stage in development, can we begin exploring the possibility of return. We do so inspired by another warrior woman whose journey has made her aware of a difficult institutional history that underpins the contemporary poisoning of relationships between women and men. She writes an album on the subject of God to explore this.

It begins with a song in which she aspires to make ‘something beautiful’ for the New Father it evokes. This combines poetic force and searing pathos in a way that is both deeply moving and evocative of our yearning to belong. Other songs, despite also being addressed to a male deity, raise haunting memories of Goddess sensibility and rhythms that recall the sensibility of Earth’s First People, indigenous communities which never experienced traumatic rupture with the Mother as our over-heated modern cultures have.

A final song in this sequence echoes ‘The Song of Solomon’, a mystical Old Testament poem about sacred marriage. It also associates the Divine Beloved with a human lover, calling for his introduction to ‘my Mother’s House’. This provides a much-needed thread of reconciliation to lead us back from our earlier moment of refusal. Buoyed by a sense of renewed promise we admit this trajectory, which will be developed later, after we have attended to a complementary process of male healing.

*

‘Male Wounding’ is introduced by Bruce Springsteen’s song ‘My Father’s House’. It tells of a dream in which he is lost in a dark forest. Panicking, he runs scared until he finds sanctuary in the arms of his estranged father. Awakening, he vows to overcome everything that ‘(tears) us from each other’s Heart’. He gets up and drives to his father’s last address only to learn ‘no one by that name lives here anymore’.

I love this song. Considering our journey in relation to it, I was reminded that youngsters in the incredibly vibrant hip-hop communities of the United States have a 90% plus chance of growing up without a present father. Archetypally, the role of the father is to lead the child – and especially the male child – out from the spell of the Mother. When this doesn’t happen, the result is a tangle of fraught gender relations.

Misogyny is rife on the surface of hip-hop culture because young males come under extreme pressure to dissociate themselves from the female/Mother principle. Nobody shows them how this might be graciously achieved so they do it by disparagement and disavowal. This is reflected in their art. Lacking guidance, they have to push through by themselves. Competition to be seen and heard is intense, even in a context of dependent peer relations.

The first music of this sequence is a signature for its hero. Loud, brash and expansive, it portrays him as he likes to see himself. The next piece finds him returning home and preparing to go to a club for the night. On the way, an introspective side of his character emerges. He asks the question ‘Are you really living?’ projecting it with an urgency which shows that it really is his. He talks/sings constantly through his preparation. This is how he keeps experience under control. He is also very careful of his appearance, choosing his clothes with great attention and checking the mirror often. Reflections are important to him.

A new edge develops as he sets out for the club, particularly when he meets his (male) friends outside. This also is expressed by new music. His presentation becomes harsher and more abrasive, especially regarding women and feminine concerns. This tendency peaks as his group enters the club, anxious to create an impression. Their loudness escalates to match the din inside. Our hero excels to stay at the fore, oozing sexual innuendo as he performs the familiar dance of his identity.

A predatory beat introduces the next stage, where he spies and targets a young woman he wants to capture for the night. Riding the wave of his excitement, he moves in, singing prodigiously to charm his prey. His monologue develops on two levels, one outwardly addressed to secure his conquest (I’m also an artist baby …’) and another to reassure himself when he feels uncomfortably drawn (‘I got ten more bitches …’). Hearing only one, the woman succumbs.

Our next scene occurs three months later in the same club. The two are still together, dancing an intensely sexual second chakra dance. Their bodies press close, hips locked in complementary unison. His fingers play up and down the woman’s spine under her shirt. He acclaims her as ‘my niggah’, meaning sexual partner and best friend. He says beautiful things to her in a less manic version of his old rapid-fire monologue style.

The last episode comes three years afterwards. The couple is now living together. Our hero wakes up singing in celebration of this. His frantic tone has gone.  New constancy, substance and flow are apparent in its place. The woman has become part of his consciousness and he feels better for it. We let the energies of this sequence move through us and wind down, tending where they will, clarifying as needs be until they rest in stillness. Even as this happens, it is clear that we aren’t yet complete.

We join together in a standing circle. Women return to their consciousness as women having danced the male part. Much has shifted but there is a further step to be taken before we will be able to journey as a group into ‘The Shadow of Death’. I ask if all men present are willing to dance one final dance as a representative gesture of apology, made on behalf of all men to all women, and if all women present are willing to dance the same dance as a representative gesture of forgiveness, made on behalf of all women towards all men. Everyone agrees. The dance unfolds and we are ready for our night-time journey.

The Shadow of Death

We open our night session by focusing on the nature of the journey we are about to make. We will be engaging difficult histories of patriarchal atrocity. Preparations we have made continue to serve. We have only to enter the process consciously, inviting all that is evoked by the music to come home for remembering in our Hearts. Pure yin holding at the centre of our protective yang spheres facilitates this. We use sacred movement to contain issues arising, allowing them a form so they can be integrated and transcended without explicit processing. Having set this intention, we begin.

An ancient song reminds us how the Goddess wove our world into existence. She holds all that lives in form, witnessing and supporting it through predictable stages of growth and decline, knowing always that ‘death is the beginning of forever’. Then Goddess consciousness enters time: ‘She Moves the World’ both as abstract principle and through many teeming forms of life. She even becomes self-conscious in early human spiritual traditions, and especially through priestess lineages which serve the unfolding of Earth in Her name.

When we have deepened into impressions evoked by this music, we begin our journey as a priestess community. Drawn from many cultures, times and places, we gather in our many-coloured robes, all imagined, preparing to re-enter patriarchal time so that innocence may be restored in relation to it. Awareness building as we go, we move steadfastly, supported by all our work, conscious and unconscious, through the weeks and hours before.

In time, we arrive at the threshold of patriarchy: the dawning of a male-centred spiritual consciousness. At first, there are flickerings of beauty and promise. Hopes of true balance are reborn but we know in our souls that there is a River of Sorrow to be crossed and do not flinch. Remembering our expanded spheres, our tender Hearts and our essential (Divine Child) innocence we go on, willing that the music may evoke in us all that needs now to be admitted, accepted and released.

Intimations of beauty diminish as we enter periods of imbalance. We wander for what feels like ages in a morass of cruel certainties: remembering, affirming and remembering again. Constancy sustains us. In due course, the storm passes and we hear once more the Song of Goddess echoing through corridors of time, reminding us that death is always a beginning. Still holding all we have been gifted to hold, descended now to the bottom of our memory’s abyss, we initiate new movement to stir our souls beyond trauma that numbed as it engulfed.

Sifting through clutter in our depths, we unearth a vital spark and rock it back to life. Our attempt is raw, strident and impassioned. Eventually it succeeds. We dance determinedly again, feeling the Flame of Spirit gutter from our first up towards our second chakras. A new surge builds and we undertake again to nurse returning sensibilities more securely back into awareness. Tenderly, our female soul begins to sing. Tentatively, by way of response, our male soul answers, expressing a potential that has neither been realised nor compromised in time. A new dance builds. We feel a hope of new patterns emerging. Life lives in us again.

Our Sacred Fire rekindled, frozen impressions start to thaw. The voice of the Goddess is heard in our Hearts and in the reawakening Song of Mother Earth. We move through the world, remembering. More and more impressions come back into flow. We are filled with whispers of the Goddess rising, tentative still, and glimpse the promise of returning Home. After walking slowly into stillness, we kneel and hold ourselves through an integrative Heart meditation, willing everything that needs re-ordering in us to come into right relationship through sleep. This work will be mediated by dreams.

The Rising

Our business of the morning is to birth a new dream. Several night-dreams are reported. Some express collective patterns that are potentially available to all: a woman is given a map of her soul (destiny) by the Goddess, for example, and a man finds his way back to a Source place where his soul woman awaits, anticipating sacred marriage. Other dreams specify obstacles that individuals must overcome in order to realise such potential in their lives. Today’s sequences are designed to assist.

The first is short but intense. It opens as an adult woman remembers her mother, not in terms of particular issues but regarding a general mood of enchantment. This recollection draws her deeper into the atmosphere of childhood. She recalls her early dreaming and, mesmerised, feels more inclined to suspend adult concerns and go farther into wherever these energies are leading.

Entering deeper into this process, she finds herself in a winter landscape. The countryside is covered in snow. Even the river is frozen. She sees her young self skating on its icy surface. Then she notices something motionless under the ice. Drawing closer, she is astonished to find that ‘It’s me!’ She goes deeper still in consciousness to explore, right down to the basement of her sub-conscious.

When the energies of consciousness are introduced here, they have an unsettling effect. Everything in the sub-conscious is stirred and starts to move in an apparently chaotic fashion. Old themes and expressions are thrown up. We abandon ourselves to the energies of this dance. As it plays itself out, a new order of our reconfigured souls begins to emerge. Far from being chaotic, its rhythms have a charm that evokes images of unspoilt childhood.

Our dance engages this new order and, particularly, a moment when the spark of spirit is felt pushing up with the soul’s intrinsic order for expression. It engages. An ecstatic rush of remembered spontaneity ensues. There is also consciousness of divine participation but the Child cannot name this as such. Rather it is known in its immediacy as pure delight. None of us, regardless of our prior disposition, hesitates to dance this leap.

We walk then to let eruptive energies settle before returning from our storied journey back to the setting of our present room, where a music of renewed innocence is playing. Forgetting our early lives as they were lived, we dance what was always trying to happen through them, feeling an unimpeded expression of our souls’ truth. We are lighter and freer when this is done.

Within this lightness, we attend to a subtle stirring that is palpable now in our Hearts. The spark of Spirit has risen with the order of our souls. Holding our hands as if to cup this spark we move with an intention of birthing it into our present lives. Our female side is first to air its song. Then, when this is established, a magnificent outpouring is heard from the male side also, arising in its turn to complement healing on our female side.

Carried by exquisite music, we dance this sequence in the renewed consciousness of our bodies and our Hearts, allowing it to wind down as – in imagined progression – it reaches the border of middle childhood (7 years). From here to 12, consciousness is preoccupied with learning the rules of outer society. Then, with adolescence, inner impulses begin to agitate again, pushing forward to challenge received orders, tending towards creativity and renewal or conflict and depression. Cultures which respond well to this challenge thrive; those which don’t decline. We resolve to manage our transition well after a break.

*

It is the sensitive feminine aspect of soul that is primarily and most decisively repressed. This responds to inspiration, noting possibilities for which mainstream cultural formation is unlikely to prepare us. The structuring masculine aspect of soul is allowed expression up to a point but only along prescribed, pre-established lines. Thus its ideal unfolding is also choked off. (Ideally, it responds to inspiration received via its feminine complement so that both can unfold in balanced harmony.) This means that both men and women stand to benefit from healing sequences such as the above, on the way to wedding.

Men’s archetypal wound stems from mistrust of women and the feminine. We fear a negation of our individuality if we surrender, sexually and otherwise. Rather than risk becoming as an infant in the hold of an all-powerful woman, we elect to control. Thus we ‘have’ orgasms instead of being remade by them. This precludes transcendence. A woman’s archetypal wound is complementary. She fears that if she opens fully to a man, without reserve, all that she is will be taken and she will be left with nothing that is truly hers, unsullied and undefiled. She too refrains from absolute surrender, which means that she also cannot know the grace of transcendence.

Transcendence is always of the ego, not by it. ‘Death’ cannot be avoided, but only the ego needs to ‘die’. Surrender is not submission, woman to man or vice-versa. The man, surrendering, opens to a god-power in himself and the woman to her intrinsic goddess-power.  Prudence is required in finding a partner capable of honouring this but the role of gender politics ends there. The purpose is to let God/dess be known in existence as love. This demands that ego histories be set aside. Out of existence, ‘God’ is both fe/male and neither. In existence, S/He must manifest as one or the other until a practise of sacred marrying allows both aspects to be known as One. Our next sequence aims to clarify and empower towards this end.

*

We gather to dance ‘The Return of the Female Christ’. Our girl is now an adolescent, on the verge of growing up. The music finds her at fifteen years of age, preparing to attend her first debutante’s ball. A car is to collect her. She has a date who will in some way, she intuits, ‘change her name’. She wants a light left on at home, not in case she doesn’t like the dancing but in case she does, so she can remember where she comes from. She is nervous of stepping out, eager but also apprehensive about following this necessary path. We dance her dance, admitting into consciousness all impressions that need integrating from corresponding moments of our lives.

The girl is seventeen when we next meet her, more experienced now in ways of the dance and conscious of a powerfully ‘savage’ energy that moves in her. Unlike our recording artist of yesterday, she has signed no contracts. She is not compromised and is thus able to experience this energy without cynicism or resignation. She dances its promise with courage and optimism. We experience vast waves of female erotic potential surging in her through ourselves.

Our next encounter happens when the young woman is nineteen. She has had her first relationship and is suffering the aftermath of breaking up. The music for this is Sinead O’Connor’s ‘Troy’, which expresses acutely the position of our girl-woman. Her reflections through the first half of the song still focus the relationship. Her feelings revolve around her former boyfriend: she speaks of ‘we’ or ‘you’, is apologetic and compares herself to his new partner. Then, midway, a breakthrough comes in what I call a Sekhmet moment.

Sekhmet is an ancient Egyptian goddess of creativity and fire. She is a powerful ally when expression flows smoothly; frustrated, she becomes angry and destructive. A Sekhmet moment occurs when anger which has been channelled inwards against oneself is suddenly redirected out: when in-rage becomes outrage. This happens in the middle of Troy, beginning with the statement ‘I will arise’. A simmering anger which was formerly overlain with melancholy sentiment blows open and a powerful new energy erupts.

The song is now about its singer, not her beau. Its urgent staccato rhythms challenge us towards resuming our ideal forms. Passion flares. A depth of empowerment is palpable when we are done, but whither now? Of itself, a Sekhmet moment cannot bring freedom. It is easy to get stuck in transition, becoming an angry person rather than a fluid, transforming one. Our heroine resists this temptation. She wears her fire honestly and attracts a new man, a poet who also talks a lot. Now twenty, she lets him talk up to a point before reining him in.

‘Cut out the poetry’, she sings, ‘let’s hit the main artery, no time for eternity, the colour’s all run out on me’. Her Heart is ‘like a shopping bag, full of things I should give back’. The framing melody of this song is languid and smouldering but it catches fire when she intervenes, exploding into a raucous driving beat that invites a shedding of all that was never truly ours. Three such explosive waves are built into the song.

During the first, we learn the rhythm as we shake off traces of old conditioning that no longer serve. During the second, which is more intense, we draw the Sacred Flame of the Divine (Christ) Child from our lower chakras up into the consciousness of our Hearts. During the last, most powerful wave we reach deep into the Heart of Earth and raise her Christ Flame also to surface, filling our room with Sacred Fire and letting it burn away the outmoded dross of our lives.

Fire engulfs us, inside and out. We are conscious of the Christ Flame within, warming our Hearts, building and consolidating, even as we are enveloped by the returning Christ Flame of Earth, the pushing up of Her spirit. We welcome this now as we welcomed the resurgence of our own spirits earlier this morning, when we danced the rebirth of our personal dreams. Now we dance to renew the Dream of Earth, knowing as we do that it is one with ours. We feel empty, shattered and played out when this final wave is spent.

The young woman is greatly impressed that her man stayed with her through the Fire. She has shown her power and he did not run away. He doesn’t need her to be dependent or compliant. He is even willing to dare his creativity alongside hers. Something deep in her considers opening. Is it possible, after all, to reveal the Goddess within? She has no words for this threshold in advance; only an urge to know and be known. The prospect is negotiated to a magnificent conclusion through our next dance, in which she raises the prospect and is moved by his response to open fully.

A stage for sacred marrying is now set. Men revert to dancing as men from this point, the sensibility of our feminine souls having been restored. As new music begins, each dancer is approached on inner planes by a Sacred Lover of the ‘opposite’ sex. S/he represents the returning fe/male complement of our souls as men and women. The dance is intimate, sensual and deeply erotic. We play our fingers up and down our lover’s spine, pelvises tightly locked, losing ourselves in a bliss of visceral synchrony, welcoming our soul wo/man home to awareness.

Then another song begins, the gloriously ethereal ‘Mysteries of Love’. We merge slowly with our Sacred Lover, realising in the process that we are indeed as the song says, Love. This is our first nature and we experience it directly as the grace of our occasion permits fe/male aspects to unite in balanced harmony through a process of sacred marrying. We are in a state of sublime rapture at this point. Many of us lie down as the music fades, sensing that such vibrant stillness must surely mark an end.

There is no need for anyone to do anything as a final, transpersonal stage of the sequence unfolds. Our work is now accomplished. The rest will follow of its own accord as music bears it towards awareness. A few words suffice in the event but I need to be explicit here: Earth is sensitive to effects of intentional consciousness and responds by resonance to it. Now that we have made an (inner) sacred marriage, she feels the joy of our Union and thrills to move in concert with it.

A song is heard that evokes a movement on the part of awakening male consciousness to turn again towards Goddess with the aim of wooing her anew. Earth’s response to this initiative is prompt.  A music of new Spring arises to express the Goddess’ joy as she dresses to greet her long lost love. This is followed by her wedding song, which we are all moved ecstatically to dance.

*

Our sacred play could easily finish at this point. However, it has brought us so close to yet another threshold that it would be a shame to let the blessing pass. As soon as sacred marriage – a union of Divine Male and Divine Female energies – is achieved within the self, the consciousness of a Divine Child begins to stir. To bring this into awareness requires the further step of securing a vertical marriage between Heaven and Earth. A common mythological rendering of this process tells how the Divine Child is born of a union between Father Sky and Mother Earth.

This cosmic parentage is another reason why the Divine Child can’t be reckoned in terms of psychology. S/He represents an essence, poised to manifest in experience as soon as our identification with ego/emotional history is set aside. Towards this end, S/He grows not in age but awareness, to a point of recognising herself in time as a seed of I AM consciousness (which transcends time). Our final sequence promotes this awareness.

Birthing a New Earth

We begin by evoking the consciousness of a Divine Child, using the same Mozart music as before. This is an ideal evocation of an archetype. To realise it in time, we must follow the course of a Passion ordained by our souls and known through spontaneously arising projections of our Hearts.  To engage this Passion of the Divine Child in time, we contemplate a beautifully intense song which calls forth an energy of constant Heart-streaming that bridges our sense of promise into fulfilment.

We channel this Passion through a meditation which serves to carry us in consciousness down to the centre of Earth: Mother, this is — /Feel me coming/ Open to receive me/ Acknowledge me as your servant and your child/ Take me deep into the Heart of your Womb… New music plays, bearing us into the Heart of Mother’s Womb, from which we have pledged to be reborn. Moving with this music, we allow the vibration of Earth’s crystal core to enter and suffuse us. Emptied of ourselves, we partake of her awareness, incorporating its frequencies into our range.

Slowly then, as this process completes, we move out from the Heart of Earth’s Womb up through the telluric realm of her inner being. This medium is less dense and its vibration correspondingly higher. Again we let its frequencies fill us so that we become the expression of Consciousness that it is. We remain connected to the Heart of Mother’s Womb by an umbilical cord which reminds us of our rebirth there in Consciousness.

This awareness is sustained as our journey takes us closer to Earth’s surface, ready to break through to an experience of light. We encounter it as a plant bursting up towards the sun, as an amphibian emerging from deep waters or as any of many possible forms suggested by our music. Consciousness lives through us as we engage light on Earth’s surface for the first time. Species rise and fall, and continents. Tribal societies emerge as integral participants in the blossoming of Earth.

Secured by our umbilical cords, we rise in Consciousness as it moves through mineral, plant, animal and proto-human forms. Labyrinths of reflection build, marking the advent of humanity as we know it. This realm includes all of our symbolic forms: our religions, philosophies, isms, ologies and beliefs. At times these creations seem ennobling; often, they seem to oppress and mislead. Sustained by the trajectory of our awakening Hearts, we hold a course through these labyrinths into stillness.

Here all is known as Unity becoming present to itself, beyond the diversity of forms. Consciousness, rising in us to Heart level, comprehends this. Our yang inclinations reach out and our yin inclinations draw in all that is now encompassed by our expanding Divine Child awareness. Still joined by umbilical cords to the womb of our Mother, we know where we have come from in the making of this journey. Reaching out and drawing in, we continue to expand. The vibration of Galactic Consciousness enters our awareness as new music, enabling us to be One with the Milky Way.

We move ecstatically in this awareness, making it our own, realising what it means to rise into new levels of Consciousness. Then, expanding our spheres, we pass into the deep space of Mother Universe, still secured by our umbilicus. This realm seems dark as light bodies retreat from each other at imponderable speeds, creating a mantle of blackness illumined from within by distant light from countless stars. We have no need of pondering. We know immediately, from inside, being vibrationally One with all that we sense, feel, experience and are. As Consciousness expands in me to grasp this, I intuit the ‘I AM that I AM!’

This impression strengthens as new music carries us from Mother Universe through to Cosmos, encompassing all universes and dimensions. My Father’s House has many mansions, every one a body of my Mother! The umbilicus that binds me still reminds me of this, of where I come from in the sourcing of this journey. No matter how far Cosmos may extend, it is never more than a ripple in the Beyond of Consciousness. Reaching intuitively past edges of Manifestation into Consciousness of this Beyond, I ‘see’ that I am I AM also.

I ‘see’ how Divine Children – born of Mother Earth and Father Sky as we have been – grow in Consciousness to become present in time; realise Presence while in time! We become spiritual adults, self-realised expressions of Eternal Being active in vast but finite worlds of Cosmos, knowing who we are, where we are from and why we are ‘here’, which is everywhere. Beyond Cosmos I AM and within Cosmos too! The Beyond of Cosmos is Consciousness awakening in the midst of its own dream, becoming still and knowing that I AM God!

The music of Cosmos and Beyond starts to fade as Consciousness swells to comprehend this Truth I AM THAT I AM! We float in rarefied domains as awareness settles and takes root. Then I am reminded of a Passion that informs our journey. My umbilicus tells me where I have come from and what I have to do. I realise that this represents for me a culmination of my experience with the ‘Navel Stone’ on Easter Island.

We are called back to serve Earth’s destiny in accordance with the promise of unique I AMs we now know ourselves to be. New music beckons, offering a slipstream to be followed slowly with conscious feet, in counter-clockwise pattern, through many worlds and dimensions back to Earth.

When we arrive, we know for the first time what it is truly to belong, what it means to be born again of Earth and serve her evolution at this time. After the music has wound down, we continue walking slowly back into our standing circle.

A descending vortex created by our return facilitates incorporation of many soul aspects that have been drawn in through our tender Hearts to make miracles now on Earth’s behalf. Our circle overflows with inspiration. We stand silently a while, realising that we could stay like this for hours as aspects of our souls continue to stream in, forging links between Cosmos and Earth.

This process is endless. My inspiration is not to close our circle but to open it again, giving new waves out in all directions as we dance a final sun-wise dance in celebration of the Goddess’ rising. Thus, as our play ends, it begins.

Afterword

An awakened Christ being is one who remembers her/himself as an expression of Eternal Being in time, realising the Unity (Consciousness) behind all forms. Due to effects of patriarchal imagery, we have by default viewed Christhood as the prerogative of (one?) male human being. Some men, appropriating centre stage, inflected their scripts to give this impression but it is not Truth. Women have always been Christ beings, as have all life forms although they may not know it, due to evolutionary level or the impact of patriarchal teachings. An awakened Christ being is one who remembers all that s/he is (part of): a Divine (Christ) Child in time.

Women are remembering prodigiously now. This marks a return of the female Christ which applies not just to humans but to all manifestations of the Sacred Feminine. All life forms express Divine Consciousness: from atoms to planets, galaxies and universes. Earth is remembering her Christ-nature also. For us, this is a correlative manifestation of the Goddess Rising: as within, so without. The Goddess also needs to rise in men, so we too can remember all that we are (part of). One of the most striking things about our play was how easily men adjust to dancing female roles. Not only have we lived as women before, we aspire now to live as integral human beings. This motivation also inspired our women to dance difficult male or male-linked roles.

Ultimately, Christ-being describes all aspects of Divine Consciousness that participate in existence. Not all remember themselves as such, which is why we continue to experience evolution. The symbolism of the Divine Child evokes Christ essence in human form. This is always intact but must develop in time to remember its true nature. Such development entails overcoming dysfunctional patterns that inhibit awareness.  Everyone who awakens in this way promotes the awakening of all, including our Beloved Mother. We are called now to a ‘Second Coming’ to realise the promise of the First.

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