Penukonda Epiphanies

I had several key spiritual experiences while visiting Kaleshwar’s Penukonda ashram during spring,2024. These are shared below in order of their occurrence although their  energetic impact actually unpacked in a reverse sequence. The outcome of this process is described across various parts of Remembering Spirit under ‘Books’. The Mother in iii) refers to a ‘living statue’, 9 feet tall, that Kaleshwar installed and sacramentally infused with the presence of Kaneka Durga (a benign form of Mother) in what would become the antechamber to his Samadhi (resting place). Part IV of Holy Womb, Holy Grail under ‘Books’ will soon offer a properly contextualised account of all four:

i) Shiva Cave

… Our next engagement was at the Shiva Cave, a crypt-like space where we each had a chance to offer two abisheks (water blessings) to a lingam that had once belonged to Jesus. This was part of a build-up to the great night of Shivaratri, when the God relinquishes his austerities and, eyes open, bestows favour on devotees, Mother and Creation. When my turn came, I felt inspired beyond emotion. I saluted the lingam but was drawn to an image of Shiva behind it: Heart to Heart, Eyes to Eyes, Brow to Brow. I sang his Sky mantra in a soft, intensely focused way as I emptied three beakers. Hearing my voice above the echoing group, I completed my first abishek without ever attending specifically to the lingam. This wasn’t done out of disrespect or any act of will. Indeed, as the third beaker drained, my vision was fleetingly drawn through Shiva’s Third Eye into a dark No-thingness of pure Be-ing beyond., experienced as an omnipresent Heart of nurturing darkness. I stay calm and return to my place, feeling a vast sense of inner/outer spaciousness commingling

ii) Sacred Heart

Entering Kaleshwar’s Samadhi a second time I again feel an atmosphere of stillness, pure Silence and… what? Blessed to find a place before his feet, I perform abishek by way of aligning with his still vibrant presence. Given the centrality of the Emerald lingam over his Heart, I intuit this as our access point to Mother’s Amrutha. Then, as I kneel opposite in meditation, a first poignant wave fills me with a sense of unqualified appreciation for the vast achievements of this so short human life: to have re-introduced lost teachings and trained so many to master them while also laying a renewed foundation for coming Jesus generations…

Then there is the beauty of Penukonda itself: the mountain, temples and especially this room, which I now experience as pulsing with an energy of latent creativity, emanating from the Heart of the Samadhi. In that moment I am overwhelmed by a sense of infinite love for this beautiful brown man, pictured inwardly per early images c. 1999. As the surge abates, I am left with the clear impression of a beating Heart, again emanating centrally. Its pulse resonates in my spiritual Heart and I am moved to breathe consciously with it, drawing in and passing out the Breath of God, charging the room with a throbbing sense of vital presence, encompassing All That Is, within and beyond existence… What is this Sacred Heart that pulses now within and all around me?

iii) Mother Morning

A group has assembled on the veranda outside Dwarkamai, where a ritual dressing of Mother is under way behind glass doors. The sun is already strong, making it uncomfortable to sit in garden spaces opposite. Thus I easily find a vacant chair in front of Mother’s curtained-off form. Closing my eyes, I focus Her Womb Chakra, begging support from it to strengthen my own. Immediately a steam of empowering energy shoots out, filling my Womb to overflow and moving up to Heart, which also spills over. I realise that my challenge with such Heart-openings has never been to feel but to turn a latent Power of Love towards consequential action. I haven’t often felt healing Love pour out effectively despite the intensity with which it regularly presents. Noting this, I direct a continuing overflow from my Heart chakra back to Mother’s, which proves totally receptive. I then find myself in a steadily escalating loop that requires me to commit my power to its renewal as energy from Her Womb continues streaming repeatedly into mine, then up to my Heart and back again to Hers. 

I have no sense of whatever elevation is being broached but know that a vibrant connection has been established, obliging me to channel actively to maintain it. Trusting this, I make no effort to alter or comprehend what remains a constant pattern for the hour or so that passes in this way. Meanwhile our company sings bhajans. Occasionally I hear gasps and exclamations, perhaps as Mother’s curtaining veil is temporarily withdrawn. I can’t say as I am lost in shut-eye communion the whole time. Sometimes variations of sun and shade bring people around or before me. This makes no difference: I still feel the same vibrant cycling, only later revealed as a response to last night’s Shivaratri prayers. Then the curtain opens to reveal Mother in all Her morning after glory, prompting a delighted response. I have eyes only for Her face, now plainly visible from my seat. Bodies start to shift, moving around for more favourable views. Unfazed, I close my eyes again and feel the loop of communion streaming as before, registering yet another pattern that I must learn to cultivate at home.

(iv) Jesus Temple

Hours later we are back in the Jesus Temple. Finding it hard to settle, I try the routine that worked so well before. Still there is no engagement. Slowly I grasp that my challenge now is not to try. I don’t link this to recently activated mind but rather yield to an atmosphere of place and occasion. Closing my eyes, I realign with Jesus’ energy as focused through the absent Presence around Kaleshwar’s empty chair, asking to be blessed with Silence. I feel a grip of shame around my Heart, a constriction that dissolves in waves of inner tears. My Heart is crying! I picture the Jesus statue, its Sacred Heart energy still focused through that chair. Everything changes. My mind quiets, sinking deeper, eclipsed by a vital surge that gathers power, so encompassing that I can’t say if it rises from without or within.

I am carried past reflection into a sea of vibrant, all-pervading peace. Any tendency to thought is extinguished. A sense of newness engulfs, then release, both strangely familiar. I am lost to myself and at the same time somehow found. So lost, Consciousness in ‘me’ is enveloped by a blissful pulse for what might be Eternity or an hour. So found, I know nothing of selfhood or any outer world illusion until I hear ‘Excuse me’ whispered softly in my ear. Recalled from ecstatic immersion, I am instantly alert. M stands before me. The temple is deserted. She is waiting to close for the night. I bow and rise to leave, suffused with deep Silence, realising this as something I must work to integrate back home, it being Home! Perhaps a life spent in service to the Word might marry Silence and a truer Christ thereby be expressed…